Based on a totally and totally very objective study
There These are all subjects on which the Conservatives diverge. Foreign police. Prices. Drag-Queen Story Time. The owners of Queens. But perhaps the right-most divisive question is which conservative outlet has the best cup of coffee. The titanic struggle for caffeine supremacy arose out of an ongoing battle between Ben Shapiro of the Daily thread and Steven Crowder from Stronger with Crowder.
Shapiro, supplier of the “Leftist Tears Hot or Cold Tumbler” and Crowder, the face of the “Louder with Crowder Mug Club”, were bonhomie sniper each other’s offerings for some time now. Asked about the state of conservatism’s coffee containers, Michael Knowles, another host of the Daily thread, said with a smile that “The Louder with Crowder Mug is best used to ash my cigars.” As the big dogs of conservative cafe got their throats taken, a few other suitors quietly entered the fray.
Among the countless upstarts, the two most worthy of note are the cups of Remark review and National exam. So how do the different ships measure up? Which mug can claim the distinction of Conservatism’s best coffee mug?
To make this competition as objective as possible, the Conservative NR Coffee Cup Review Committee, of which I am the self-proclaimed and unique member, conducted a Consumer reports– level study. The ships were purchased individually by me to avoid accusations of favoritism, although I guess I can’t escape my inherent bias as a reviewer writing for and on NRO. The winning institution, wishing to boast of its distinction on its home page, can thus choose to nominate itself as the best cup of coffee in conservatism (according to an NR intern).
The study rated the mugs based on three categories: appearance, function and heat retention. * Ratings are on a scale of one to four, with four being best.
Is the mug aesthetically pleasing in terms of color and shape, and is the design durable?
Stronger with Crowder
- The Louder with Crowder Mug is a visually substantial container, wider than it is tall. It has a lovely deep blue robin egg design, with letters in a beautiful white and red.
- The mug would look just as comfortable perched on an executive’s desk as it would in a student’s dormitory. It is not antagonistic in speech or image and can be used in mixed society without problem.
- After two years of use, the mug shows no signs of deterioration.
- The Daily thread The tumbler is everything the Louder with Crowder Mug isn’t in appearance. Industrial and understated, with an aluminum body wrapped in black, the tumbler evokes an urban 20-year-old and something in a black turtleneck.
- The lettering is strong and punchy, reading “Left Tears (Hot or Cold)” in the middle with the Daily thread logo along the bottom quarter. A little teardrop on the left is all that pops up on the other side, a fun twist.
- The cup ages poorly, spots and stains appear after a few months of use. Certainly not Yeti quality.
- The National exam the mug is a beautiful boy. Built on the traditional cup ratio, it is as conservative in appearance as the magazine is in content.
- The only lettering that appears is “National Review EST. 1955 “on both sides, so the drinker and onlooker will know which cup to drink from. Convenient. For the particular model tested, the body is white, the handle and interior black – subtle and attractive.
- The mug shows no wear after three months of daily use.
- The Remark the mug has a presence, best described as the Louboutin of the group, with a shiny red interior that stands out from a matte black exterior. Slightly stockier than the NR option but thinner than the LwC, the Remark the mug may have found the perfect aesthetic point.
- If you like a lot of words, and John Podhoretz listeners obviously do, then this mug can be your cup of tea, as it has more than any other, with “Keep the Candle Burning: The Commentary Magazine Podcast” and the Remark podcast logo inscribed on both sides.
- After two months the cup is still striking, but the nicks and marks already evident in the matte finish are likely to continue to build up.
Is it comfortable in the hand? Does he travel well? Is it dishwasher safe?
Stronger with Crowder
- Ergonomically, the LwC mug is a mug for men. It would have to be a two-handed affair for many to safely sip this thing. The combination of its heaviest weight in its class (16.6 oz), capacity (16 fl oz) and large construction means that much of the liquid’s gravitational pull will be away from the handle. This handle itself is about three fingers long and the mug will naturally pull away from the handle when picked up.
- Questions of practicality also arise in the dishwasher. The width of the cup makes it a rodent of space in the upper basket.
- To its credit, the LwC Mug is best in class as an oatmeal or ramen container.
- Ergonomically, the Daily thread the cup is average. The lightest of the bunch (9.8 oz) and can hold 16 fl oz comfortably, the tumbler is best in the car or anywhere else, a covered beverage container is preferable.
- Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a handle, grippy mat, or exterior finger grooves, making it unpleasant to hold for a while. It’s like grabbing a slightly swollen drinking glass; those with carpal tunnel problems would do well to avoid it. Plus, the lid is cheap, with no way to close the drink port.
- Being the size of an inflated drinking glass, the mug fits perfectly in the dishwasher and is explicitly dishwasher safe. The stains that appear after a few months, as noted above, can be dishwasher-safe, so those worried about these things may prefer to wash their hands.
- Where the Leftist Tears tumbler dominates is to keep your coffee hot. The other three, with their roofs open and construction without dewar, were not even competitive. In addition, it is the only vessel that can be safely used on a wooden desk in hot weather without a coaster, as the container does not sweat.
- Ergonomically, the NR mug is well balanced for hands of all sizes. As the saying goes, “the mug makers sit on the shoulders of giants” and NR’s adherence to tradition is to its advantage.
- Second lightest at 12.6 oz and barely able to hold 12 fl oz, the mug stays upright in the hands when full. The handle is thin enough for comfort but still substantial. It’s the best table-to-mouth consumption experience in the industry.
- The NR mug is suitable for any dishwasher, because its width allows it to nestle in the area of the glasses without encroaching on the area of the bowl.
- Ergonomically, the Remark mug suffers from many of the same issues as the LwC option. Due to the short and sturdy size of the mug, the handle is necessarily domed, which means that when the handle is held loosely, the mug tilts, risking spilling the coffee.
- Second heavier at 13.4 oz and holding 12 fl oz, it is not uncomfortable and feels solid. Not great, but not bad either.
- While it works in the top rack of a dishwasher, the fit is tighter than NR’s. In addition, the bulge in the handle can make it difficult to insert compared to more stylish alternatives.
Most like it hot: does the mug keep it that way?
To determine which means of coffee transport keeps a user’s “warm brown” as long as possible, the examiner boiled water and poured it into all four containers. Every five minutes, said critic took temperature readings with a meat thermometer. The Daily thread‘s “Hot or Cold Tumbler” provided excellent heat retention. NR and Remark effectively tied, while the LwC juggernaut came last. Points were awarded to reflect the wide gap between first and second place.
Temperature loss over time
|Competitor||° F @ 5 minutes||° F @ 10 min||° F @ 15 min|
|Stronger with Crowder||154||137||126|
Daily thread: 4/4
NR and Remark: 2/4
Stronger with Crowder: 1/4
|Stronger with Crowder||4||2||1||7|
In conclusion, all the coffee cups have acquitted themselves admirably. The National exam assault technically tied on points with the Daily thread goblet, but the ties reek of surrender and football. So, we of the NR Conservative Coffee Cup Objective Review Committee grant the crown to the NR Cup. No matter how you like your coffee, it’s best to enjoy it in a NR cup, pairing perfectly with an NR-Plus subscription. Science (excuse me, Science) is settled.
Do you want fairness? I’m sure the best progressive mug contest is fairer.
* Note: Since three of the four coffee mugs are only available to subscribers of the corresponding publications, the prices were not comparable and therefore were not used as a category in this sophisticated rating system.